Hands up who is ready to leave the face masks, the lockdowns, the social distancing and the not giving anyone a hug back in 2020?
*Slowly raises hand…*
Sadly, that reality still feels some way in the distance, and there’s no doubt we’re all starting to feel the strain on our mental health. But the pandemic is having a big impact on little brains too, and I wanted to take a moment to outline the evidence that we have, suggest signs to watch out for and actions you can take to make that your child is doing okay.
By simply being observant, you can identify signs of emotional difficulties, and coach children to understand all those big emotions they can’t quite grasp yet. And by giving children the support and coping mechanisms they need, you can help them continue to prioritise their mental health well into adulthood.
But to start, let’s dig into the data to try and understand how our children are coping right now.
LOCKDOWN AND CHILDREN’S WELLBEING
Before the pandemic, a study showed that one in 18 children between the ages of 2 and 4 had a diagnosable mental health problem. When you add not being able to go to nursery settings or childminder’s homes, not seeing any other children and being surrounded by stressed-out caregivers, it’s no wonder children are feeling the strain too.
Just remember that it isn’t all doom and gloom – these statistics can sound scary, but you have a massive role in helping children thrive in spite of them. But before we get to the tips, we need to understand why they’re needed.
So just how big of a strain is it?
As the pandemic continues, the strain on children’s mental health is continually being assessed across the globe. In the UK, the Co-SPYSE study is measuring the effect COVID is having on the behaviour and emotional wellbeing of children and young people – and the results for our younger ones are worrying.
Parents are noticing a significant increase in behavioural, emotional and attentional difficulties. The lack of structure and pressure parents are under undeniably contributes to this, but as the lockdowns continue, children are continually pulled away from their settings and social environments. Their routines are constantly interrupted or changed, and this has a knock on effect on their emotional ability.
From regressing back in developmental stages to developing early signs of health anxiety – the pandemic is making an impact.
WHAT TYPE OF BEHAVIOUR SHOULD I BE WORRIED ABOUT?
Toddlers and young children can’t put their emotions into words as well as we are able to – they may not even understand the different emotions they’re experiencing. Keeping a close eye on their behaviour is therefore absolutely key when it comes to monitoring their mental health.
You know your children best – so the examples below are not necessarily cause for alarm. However, we’ve collected the most common symptoms of anxiety and stress-related issues that may be red flags signalling that your child may need a little extra attention, or a helping hand to deal with those big worries they don’t quite understand.
Anxiety and depression
A noticeable difficulty in concentrating
Frequent sleep disruptions or irregular sleep patterns
Not eating properly or a change in eating habits
Frequently waking in the night due to nightmares
Suddenly starting to wet the bed
Easily irritated or angry, and getting out of control during outbursts
Stress
Tummy aches – abdominal problems and tummy issues are a very common way that children’s bodies display stress
Sleeping disruptions or issues with sleep
Regressing and showing behaviours they had at a younger age
Lack of engagement in activities they would normally enjoy
TOP TIPS TO HELP CHILDREN DEAL WITH ANXIETY
What can you do to help children with their mental health? Here are some ways you can support children in acknowledging those big feelings, and help them self-regulate and control them in their own way.
Deep belly breathing – This is a fantastic technique to help children learn to self-regulate when their emotions are getting out of control. There’s even a great video with the cookie monster that explains this perfectly. The simple act of breathing in and out deeply does absolute wonders.
Create a safe space for them to calm down – Try turning a corner of your space into an area where they can find calm and stillness, with noise cancelling headphones and fluffy cushions.
Validate children’s emotions – Helping young children understand what they’re feeling is incredibly important. Not only does this help them self-regulate when these emotions repeatedly appear, but it validates the emotion and lets the child know that you understand and support them.
Teach them an emotional vocabulary – Once they’ve understood what they’re feeling, it’s important to name it. They’ll be able to tell you when it happens again, and explain what it is they’re feeling. Not only will you be able to support them more quickly, but they’ll start recognising the signs of that emotion and self-regulate themselves.
Use books to develop their understanding – Stories can be a great way to help explain those big feelings to young children, as they introduce them in a digestible and accessible way. Why not try Little Meerkat’s Big Panic, or The Huge Bag of Worries?
taking care of yourself
It’s incredibly important to note that you need to be taking care of yourself too. Taking care of children’s mental health will be that much harder if you yourself aren’t making time to take care of your own.
It’s okay to feel uncertain, worried and upset about the state of the world. But giving yourself time to breathe is absolutely key. Practice what you preach – if your child is becoming increasingly anxious and needs to do some deep belly breathing to calm themselves down, you should be doing that too.
useful resources
Every Mind Matters: An NHS resource for parents and carers.
Keep Your Cool Toolbox: A fantastic resource from Dr Mine Conkbayir to help adults coach children through those tricky and overwhelming emotions.
Mental Health Foundation tips: 10 tips to start you off if you’re not sure where to start. Taking care of your mental health isn’t always easy, so having a guide to start you off might be just what’s needed.
Article adapted from ‘Boosting Children’s Mental Health During COVID-19’ by Bronagh Kathleen McGeary (Famly Blog, 13th January 2021)